Finally!

I have mentioned Alex Pardee a few times, and I have raved about the print he did of Batman that I desperately want.  This is the picture:

The print is sold out, and will never be reprinted (in the larger size).  I have searched online to no avail. I have emailed the artist to see if he will ever do a reprint. The answer? Nope.  I found one of the originals in a small art gallery in downtown SLC, but it is $400.  Did I buy it?  Nope.

Well, last night I was checking out Alex Pardee's blog, and guess what he is releasing????? 8" x 10" prints of his "Tonight, To Knight" piece.  I definitely bought one!  Now I just have to convince Ben that it is worth hanging in the house.

Aesop Rock

I don't know if you know this, but I am totally and completely obsessed with Aesop Rock.  He is a genius.  I listen to his music almost exclusively.  Recently he collaborated with DJ Big Wiz and Rob Sonic to form the hip-hop super group, Hail Mary Mallon.  They released the album, "Are You Gonna Eat That?," and it is awesome.  Seriously, seriously, seriously awesome.

Aesop is also the creative genius behind the awesome site, 900  Bats.  I have blogged about it before, and if you haven't taken a look, well, don't be silly.  Go look.

We have driven all the way to Boulder, Co (1054 miles round trip), and to Reno, Nevada (1038 miles round trip), just to see Aesop perform.  I take his music so seriously that the man is one of my tests for a significant other, thankfully Ben passed; basically, if you can't boogie to Aesop, you aren't boogying with me.

Well, guess what?  He is coming HERE!  Here as in, Salt Lake City, Utah! This next trip to see Aesop Rock perform is only 47 miles, and that is round trip. He will be performing at the Urban Lounge, and if you like good music, you should go.

Me and Aesop in Boulder, CO

Must Have

Fresh basil is a must have in our house!  We use it in Thai food, omelettes,  Italian food (obviously), and we even make BBTs (bacon, basil and tomato sandwiches).  Ben and I have had a basil plant on our windowsill for as long as I can remember. Until now.  Recently, we have been experiencing an earwig problem.  I woke up with an earwig on my face.  I was mortified.  But worse than that, they are living in the basil! 

We just chucked two beautiful, full plants because they were crawling with bugs and had fresh holes in the leaves.  Our window looks so empty without the plants!  Until the earwigs decide to leave our house, we'll just have to keep our basil in the fridge (stupid, fucking earwigs).

Thank You

Ben,

Thanks for taking me to Wendy's at midnight... and Maverick to buy Talenti Gelato.  Serious props for driving to Taco Bell after Wendy's, even though they weren't open.

And thanks even more for still wanting to have sex with me after you watched me eat half a pint of gelato and a  junior bacon cheeseburger (all after crying). 

With love,

Chels

Hives

Today I had a very good friend start a conversation with, "I was going to stop being friends with you."
I broke out in hives when she said those words, and instantly choked back tears.  The little voice in my head responded, "okay," but I didn't understand why she would think such an awful thing.

For the past two weeks my friend has been different, and I have been trying to figure out what happened, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I scoured over conversations to find if there was some detail that I was forgetting. I sent messages to no avail.  I tried to make plans, nothing.  Did I say something sarcastically that was interpreted wrong?  Did I forget plans?  Did I hug her husband too affectionately?  I couldn't think of a single thing I had done.

I asked her what was wrong and she shared the details of my transgressions (after two weeks of the cold shoulder).  As it turns out, she had misinterpreted some things and not talked to me about them.  Mostly, she admitted, it was all in her head.

In my head I saw another friend slipping away.
I saw her husband, someone I call my best friend, disappearing.
In my head, her beautiful children whom I love very much were being taken from me.

I cried for about an hour in the bathroom at work.  I was so blotchy and red that my co-workers were concerned.  I tried really hard to keep my sadness in, but I couldn't.

Today was one of those really bad days, the ones where nothing goes right, and things suddenly take a catastrophic turn for the worst.  I thought the time tested life pattern of loved ones abandoning me was happening again.

I cried at work, one of the worst places to cry.  I cried so hard I was sweating, and I almost threw up.  My friend and I are fine, but I can't shake the feeling from earlier, the worst feeling, the feeling I loathe more than most, the feeling of being expendable.  The human mind and body can take some pretty serious torment and become accustomed to some fairly grueling conditions, but the feeling of being tossed aside, that is something I will never adapt to.  Even just close calls, they hurt like the real thing.

Loving people can be hard, because you can't control how they love you in return, and I swear, that is one of the hardest things I have ever had to learn.

Love at the Bottom of a Bowl

When I left The Ex I immediately felt a wave of panic; I thought, "shit, I lied!  I don't want to be alone!."  I thought I made the wrong choice by leaving him, and I cried.  I was convinced that no one would ever love me again and that I was done with love forever.  I was such a dramatic twenty year old. 

I vividly remember crying aloud, "who is going to give me the half-popped popcorn kernels at the bottom of the bowl?"  You see, I like popcorn, but I love those few little gems at the bottom of the bowl.  They are salty, and crunchy, and half-popped, and delicious.  I look forward to empty bowls with at least two or three crunchy kernels, and the Ex knew this.  He didn't know much, but he knew this one thing.  I didn't think anyone would ever know me so well that they would remember this stupid little fact, and that made me absolutely hysterical. Apparently in my panicked state I was willing to overlook narcissism, emotional and verbal abuse, physical intimidation, and general parasitic behavior, because it was so important how well The Ex knew my idiosyncrasies.

I told Ben this sad little story somewhere in the beginning of our relationship, and as it turns out, he was listening. I don't remember how long ago it was or the movie we were watching, but I vividly remember the first time Ben handed me the half-popped popcorn kernels while we were watching a movie on his couch.  He knew it was a big deal.  He just smiled, and said "I remembered."

He listened to my story.  He committed that small detail to memory, and he was thoughtful enough to hand over the crunchy little morsels (he loves them too, which makes it even sweeter).  The butterflies I felt in my stomach that day are similar to the ones I felt the first time Ben told me he loved me.  Seriously, it meant that much.

We were watching movies this weekend, and he gave me the half-popped kernels.  It still catches me off guard, and it always makes me smile.  

All You Need

Sometimes, all you need to turn a bad day around is a little bit of time alone in Target.  And a new purse.

And a new Burt's Bees tinted lip balm:

Hilarious

For once, this isn't political.  This isn't liberal.  This is just a link, and you should follow it and read one simple sentence that will make you laugh hysterically.

Where's Waldo?

I have been missing in action for the past few weeks, and that is because I have been busy working out, watching movies, and just engaging in some general summer frolicking. 

As of late Ben and I have been eating more snow cones and tacos  than we should, but it has been worth every bite.  We have also been eating too much frozen yogurt, especially Frogurt.  Mmmmmm.  There have been quite a few parties lately, and not enough homework!  Eeeeek, but meh.  I have a touch of senioritis, and I don't want to do a damn thing that is related to the world of academia, and that has included blogging (writing is academic, okay?!).

Normally I would try to give some really nice reviews and recommendations to my friends, and I would attempt to color those recommendations with vivid images, but that's not going to happen today.  Here are my recommendations:

• Eat at Finn's Cafe for some great Scandinavian Food.  We tried their breakfast, and it was great.  The location is cute, but our server sucked (our friends assured us that it was an extremely rare occurrence).

• See Transformers 3.  It is a Transformers movie, if you didn't like the first two you won't like the third.  Shia Labeouf holding a gun, rocking  plaid, and looking sexy make it worth it, oh, and they spend some time in D.C. Nuff said.

• Check out our dear friends, Nat and Alek on A Yummy Life Photography's blog.  Their engagement photos will make you feel warm inside, guaranteed.  I can't wait for those two to get married.  After our breakfast at Finn's I watched Alek open her car door, and I can't tell you how touched I was by this, they are completely in love and it is a joy to see.