Saturday, January 30, 2010

Cough, Cough, Cry

I would much rather have the stomach flu than deal with any type of congestion.

My chest is burning, and I'm pretty sure I've consumed more cough syrup than any human being should. Perhaps drinking a bottle of cheap vodka would do the same thing and cost a bit less? I can't wait to feel better so that I can train and read without my pounding headache.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Old Maid

Most of my friends are married; A fair amount of them are in very significant relationships, the others have houses, condos, and kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm behind the curve relative to others in my life (and in my age group,) but I suppose I'm just taking a different route. After all, I'm only twenty-one, and Utah is wacky.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Keeping 'Em Confused

"Did you just stroke my mustache," that's how I respond when a man expresses subconscious affection by caressing my lips? I'm definitely going to work on the way I accept compliments and affectionate gestures.

Also, when you say that there is a "good kind of romance" versus a "bad kind of romance" that statement involves some serious explanation, and you always sound critical during said explanation. Doh!

Pictured above is a sign of "bad romance."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Skeptical Eye

I have recently moved out of my parent's abode and I'm staying at my friend Mallory's Dad's house while he is out of town. I'm house sitting his magnificent condo, and after that I will be moving somewhere undecided. Living alone is absolutely fantastic, however, the first night was touch and go. I moved into the condo on a Sunday night at about ten o'clock, and was walking around the condo flipping light switches and checking windows and doors to ensure that they were properly secured. I turned on the light above the stairs on the main level, and walked into the basement, where the laundry room is. I turned on the laundry room light and the basement light, and walked into the laundry room. When I came out of the laundry room the basement light was off, and after feeling the light switch, I deduced that the bulb had clearly burned out. I walk upstairs, and the light above the stairs on the main level was also out. I went to bed, and while laying in bed, the light above the stairs randomly turned on; I almost shat my pants when the light came on. I had to say aloud "you are a rational human being, calm down, point your skeptical eye." I then pointed my actual eyes at the nearest blunt object, and after going over the logistics of beating someone to death with a lamp, I decided that my mitts would have to suffice, and I flew out of the bedroom door in my fight stance. As it turns out, I was alone in the house, and the electrical in this place is just a tad finicky.
In addition to the great lighting situation, I've also discovered that the condo next door shares a wall with my staircase, so it sounds like they are walking on my stairs when they walk through their house. I can see how less rational people believe in ghosts.

"You are a rational person, calm down, point your skeptical eye."

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Holiday Recap

The past few weeks have been very eventful. Christmas came and went, and it's officially a New Year! Christmas Eve consisted of picking my dad up from a crack house, well it was about noon that I picked him up, but that aside, it was a great night. Ben went to dinner with me, my mom, and Braeden, and it was a blast. Christmas Day was fantastic, everyone loved their gifts and the family behaved as well as they know how. The 26th of December I went on an epic sledding adventure with VTS, Ben, and Dave Komi at Sugarhouse Park. The infamous "one last run" was performed by Vaness and Bentley, and ended with them riding "doubles" and crashing with great style. Ben's hip is still acting up, and Vanessa hit her head, but they looked good doing it!

New Year's Eve was AWESOME! I went to a party at Dusty's (a friend I have acquired through Ben,) and I experienced some delectable marijuana brownies. The brownies tasted fine going down, but when I regurgitated them later in the evening, they were not so great. I was only going to consume four drinks at the maximum, but that quota was quickly forgotten when I was offered shots; after all, it's rude to turn down drinks from someone that's hosting a party! I was going along just fine, when Ben ate two small chunks of the illegal treats. Then, Natalie ate some of them. Here's a good place for an aside, Natalie is the girlfriend of Alek. Alek is one of Ben's best friends since waaaayy back in the day. Alek is quite possibly one of the best people on the planet, and so is Dusty. Dusty hosted the party, and is currently letting us teach the two of them kickboxing on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the guy is freaking awesome. Birds of a feather or something, because both Dusty and Alek roll around with Ben, and Alek snagged Nat, who is quite possibly one of the coolest women that I've ever met, and I've only been around her for about four hours in total. Annnyway, Ben and Natalie are eating brownies, and I decide that it's a good idea if I eat some. I proceeded to eat a substantial amount of chocolate goods, in fact, I ate the last piece, and the crumbs at the bottom of the tupperware. Waste not, want not. These brownies are like ninja assassins, they snuck into my system (rather, they were let in through the front door, but go with the analogy,) and then hid behind the curtain of booze for about two hours. At around one o' clock, Ben was completely freaked out because he was so completely high, and the ninja brownies started kicking in my skull, and we crashed on a Love Sack. We were giggling and conspiring while hanging out, and poor Alek had to drive us home, because Drunky Mchighs A Lot, and her sidekick, Ben were incapable of operating heavy machinery. When we got back to Ben's, the ish really hit the fan. I remembered why I don't do drugs, that stuff makes me paranoid. The room started spinning (due to the exorbitant amount of alcohol mixing with the THC) and I had to conduct some breathing exercises reminding myself that I was fine, and it would wear off, eventually. Poor Ben, who was experiencing weed for the second time in his life, and has never consumed ethanol, was laying in bed cursing everyone that convinced him that two pieces would barely effect him. Ben told me to stop asking him questions because I was making him paranoid, and we were both upset that the other person wasn't sober enough to help. Aaaaah, smells like bonding to me. I puked twice and crashed. The next morning, we were both still slightly inebriated, and we pinky swore to never eat Mary Jane Baked Goods ever again!! The night really was a lot of fun, and I was very happy to ring in the New Year with someone that I absolutely adore. I'm glad the Holidays are over, but I'm even happier that I have fantastic memories for the 2009 season of forced merriment.

Wait, the holidays are not over, because just when I think that I'm finally done, the Valentine's Day paraphernalia clogs up store aisles. I would like someone to buy me a book for Valentine's Day, and maybe even some flowers. I'll just buy myself some lilies and make a trip to Barnes, screw this love game and the shitty corporate holiday it rode in on.