Monday, December 27, 2010


Apparently this blog is going to contain random recipes, just go with it...
I love chicken, and I'm trying to eat healthier, so I went to and stole this recipe:


  • 1 (5 to 6 pound) roasting chicken
  • Kosher salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 large bunch fresh thyme, plus 20 sprigs
  • 1 lemon, halved
  • 1 head garlic, cut in half crosswise
  • 2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter, melted
  • 1 large yellow onion, thickly sliced
  • 4 carrots cut into 2-inch chunks
  • 1 bulb of fennel, tops removed, and cut into wedges
  • Olive oil


Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.
Remove the chicken giblets. Rinse the chicken inside and out. Remove any excess fat and leftover pin feathers and pat the outside dry. Liberally salt and pepper the inside of the chicken. Stuff the cavity with the bunch of thyme, both halves of lemon, and all the garlic. Brush the outside of the chicken with the butter and sprinkle again with salt and pepper. Tie the legs together with kitchen string and tuck the wing tips under the body of the chicken. Place the onions, carrots, and fennel in a roasting pan. Toss with salt, pepper, 20 sprigs of thyme, and olive oil. Spread around the bottom of the roasting pan and place the chicken on top.
Roast the chicken for 1 1/2 hours, or until the juices run clear when you cut between a leg and thigh. Remove the chicken and vegetables to a platter and cover with aluminum foil for about 20 minutes. Slice the chicken onto a platter and serve it with the vegetables.

Harmons sells whole chickens, sans giblets and innards, for about ten bucks! This dinner is cheap and delicious. The best part is, once the chicken is roasting, you can read a book!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas, From An Atheist

In case you don't know, I'm an Atheist/Secular Humanist. I take solace in the principles of Secular Humanism just as strongly as a devout theist believes their religion to be true; because of my beliefs, I have tried to remove myself from Christmas. I don't believe Christmas should be a national holiday, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to remove myself from the celebration. I love light displays, decorating cookies, decorating trees, ice skating, and making gingerbread houses. I think that the Santa Claus fable is harmless, and many of my greatest memories come from the legend of Kris Kringle. In fact, I think that the story of Santa Claus is a useful tool. As a child I eventually grew out of the belief that there was a man, who knows everyone by name, can see all of my actions, listens to my desires, and punishes/rewards me for my actions (sound familiar?) That being said, the following is much less cynical.

This year Ben and I purchased decorations for our first Christmas tree, hung stockings, baked cookies, saw Christmas lights, watched Christmas movies, and danced in the living room to festive tunes (only for a moment, dancing makes me UN-FUCKING-COMFORTABLE!) This Christmas was perfection, spare the one tiny tradition I seem to be implementing, I have a horrendous cold! Poor Ben has been sleeping on the couch for four nights to gain a reprieve from my lung gurgle. Seriously, it is disgusting.

This Christmas was absolutely perfect. I am blissfully happy with my life, not including the ten, okay, fifteen pounds that I have gained. Apparently an education costs one pair of skinny jeans (3.7 GPA!!)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Paula Deen's Pumpkin Cheesecake

For those of you that don't know, I am a pumpkin fanatic; I adore all things pumpkin, including savory dishes. I wanted to try my hand at combining cheesecake and pumpkin, and I had marginal success with a little recipe on the back of a Hershey's Kisses package. The kisses were pumpkin spice flavored, and the cheesecake was decent. In an effort to turn my baking experience around I decided to venture on over to the Food Network website, because I knew that my other cake could be outdone. The beautiful, gray haired-diva, Paula Deen, came to my palate's rescue with her recipe for pumpkin cheesecake. I don't bake worth a damn, and this cake was a success! It is so good, in fact, that I gave Rob Handley (my professor at Absolute) one of the cakes for his birthday. Try it, you won't regret it!



  • 1 3/4 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 3 tablespoons light brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 stick melted salted butter


  • 3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 1 (15-ounce) can pureed pumpkin
  • 3 eggs plus 1 egg yolk
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/8 teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 2 tablespoon all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

For crust:

In medium bowl, combine crumbs, sugar and cinnamon. Add melted butter. Press down flat into a 9-inch springform pan. Set aside.

For filling:

Beat cream cheese until smooth. Add pumpkin puree, eggs, egg yolk, sour cream, sugar and the spices. Add flour and vanilla. Beat together until well combined.
Pour into crust. Spread out evenly and place oven for 1 hour. Remove from the oven and let sit for 15 minutes. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 4 hours.

Monday, November 15, 2010


November isn't the only time we should express gratitude, give it a whirl throughout the rest of the year too. With that said:

I am thankful that although I may be impatient, and my temper can boil rapidly, I have people in my life that are cognizant of my imperfections, and they love me just the same. I'm working on it, I promise.

I can't wait to go back to the Gallivan Center for ice skating this year!

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Basically, I have the best boyfriend ever! Ben flew me out to Maui for my fall break from school. He has been gone since September 13th, and the chance to see each other was well-deserved! The vacation was amazing, and words can not describe just how perfect everything was on the trip. We played, and laughed, and ate amazing food. It was the type of vacation I have dreamed of my whole life, and I will cherish the memories forever! It would be impossible to give a play-by-play of the whole vacation, but I'm going to attempt to highlight some of it in the form of a list. Here goes nothin':

1. We went to the Banyan tree at Lahaina on day one. They have booths that sell art under the tree, and we went around to see all of the local art. The tree covers an entire city block, it was awesome!

2. We drove the Hana Highway and went on amazing hikes through a bamboo forest, and up to gorgeous waterfalls. The bamboo forest was one of my favorite parts, it sounded like hundreds of wind chimes while we walked. The absence of snakes in Hawaii made it one of the most leisurely hikes that I have ever been on.

3. Ben bought me snorkeling gear and we went snorkeling a few different times, which included an awesome boat trip to the Molokini Crater on a boat with the Pacific Whale Foundation. I can honestly say that I have never done anything so cool in my entire life, and I can't wait to go back. Ben loves turtles, and I was so excited to see a few up close! The first turtle that we saw was huge! I'm going to unfairly assume the turtle was a male, the poor guy was missing a fin. He was as big as a coffee table, and was covered in mossy looking algae stuff (very technical terms.) We saw an eagle ray, and tons of fish. I showed Ben my boobs underwater, and he thinks those were the coolest things in the Hawaiian waters...I also managed to lovingly/playfully grope him right as we ran into another couple that was snorkeling. Seriously, we had not seen a person in over half an hour, and right as I decide to act like a pervert people appear...just my luck. On our second snorkeling adventure I was stung by a Portuguese Man O' War, which was terrible! Thankfully the sting wasn't too bad, and I was ready to go back into the water in about an hour!

4. We also went to the Paia Fish Market Restaurant and ate some of the best food in the whole world; we saw "The Town" and "Secretariat;" We bought "Connect Four" and played that a bunch; we went to "Kite Beach" and watched the kite surfers; we watched amazing sunsets, and we even trained at Ermin's gym (Ermin is his boss in Hawaii.) Ermin's girlfriend Lisa was our instructor. Lisa is awesome, and I'm very happy that I was able to meet her. We ate Indian Food, and slept in. We cuddled, and kissed, and humped, it was great.

Out of all of the adventures that we had I can honestly say that my two favorite parts were probably some of the simplest. The first was when Ben picked me up from the airport. I had missed him so much, seeing him pull up to the curb was like a bag of concrete had been lifted from my chest. It sounds rather melodramatic, but when you genuinely like someone as much as I like him, it is truly awful going this long without him by my side. I love waking up and drinking coffee with Ben, even though I hate waking up early! Getting to eat eggs with him before work is one of the best parts of my day. When Ben has a long day at work, getting to rub his hands after dinner is one of the best feelings in the world. I miss training with him at the gym, and wrestling with him at home. Just getting to hold his hand during the initial drive from the airport to the condo in Maui was divine.
My second favorite part of the trip was the time we spent inside of the condo. Ben rented the most amazing condo, and we both grew so attached to it that by the end of the trip we called it our "pretend house." We watched an entire season of "The Office." That's right, I was in paradise with my handsome boyfriend, and one of the highlights consisted of eating ice cream and watching Netflix. I love just sitting at home with Ben and watching t.v. When he gets home, there is going to be an imprint of our bodies on his couch, because we are watching every season of "The Office," and it is going to be GREAT!
The day that I left consisted of a lot of crying. I tried so hard to keep it in, but knowing that I had to go another month and a half without doing the simple things with Ben was torture. I tried to change my flight, but it was $300ish dollars to make the change, and we decided that was unreasonable. I think everyone feels the post-vacation blues, but that feeling was definitely compounded by leaving Hawaii alone. I cried all the way through security, and I cried until the plane boarded. I'm surprised they didn't flag me for enhanced searches, I was a mess.
Anyway, all of that uber-personal, and cheesy stuff aside, the vacation was AMAZING! I can't wait to go back! Hawaii does have a law school, I'm just sayin'...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


School and work have been so hectic lately! I have barely had time to study and write quality papers for my four classes with all of the drama I have had at work, but after much frustration, midterms ended, and I flew to Hawaii. However, the night before I flew to Hawaii I read the most amazing book that I have come across in years (it is that good.)

Please read Emma Donoghue’s, "Room."

Synopsis: Ma and Jack live in Room. Room is an eleven foot by eleven foot shed in the backyard of their captor's house. The shed that is "Room" to Jack is soundproofed, and hidden by hedges; the door to Room is steel and has a digital code that is only known to "Old Nick," the nasty rapist that captured Ma when she was nineteen.
The book is narrated by Jack, the lovable and intelligent five year old that has been raised by his doting mother under the false pretense that they are the only people on Earth that are real, and everything Outside is outer space. The narration from start to finish is in the words of Jack, everything that he experiences is filtered through the mind of a five year old, and he expresses the events as such. Everything he has ever known becomes important, a rug is Rug, proper nouns throughout the book convey the importance attached to the things in our lives that we know and love, though they may be inanimate. Some of us name our cars (mine is Warren Sapp,) Jack names and loves everything surrounding him. They have T.V., Rug, Plant, Egg Snake, and Wardrobe. They brush their teeth, play games, and exercise. One day, Ma tells Jack that Outside is real, and that Old Nick is a bad man who stole her, and they must escape.
After their harrowing escape (which had me breathlessly turning the pages) Jack is faced with a whole new world. He is faced with vast choices, new sounds, and an overwhelming fear that his mother will leave him. Was Jack better off in Room? Is ignorance bliss? After all, he was safe in room, bees didn't sting him, people didn't yell, and the sun didn't burn, maybe Room wasn't so bad- maybe Jack wants to go back?
This book left me wondering where Jack and Ma were after I closed the cover, and I still find myself thinking about them as if they are real people. The book calls into question many great subjects, such as, how much choice is a good thing?
For me, "Room" made me question my own materialism, and contemplate how important the things around me actually are. I have realized that what makes my car, "Warren" is the memories that I have had in "him." My car isn't a person, it is a car, and I need to pay more attention to the people inside of it, and the places it takes me, because if they were gone, Warren would just be another Toyota Yaris. I highly recommend this book, and if any of my friends want to borrow it, just let me know!

On another note, later I will be posting quite the lengthy account of my trip to Maui, and posting tons of pictures!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Cardboard City

The Alex Pardee print that I have had my eye on forever popped up in a store in SLC, and I happened upon it while walking to my favorite Indian restaurant (The Himalayan Kitchen.) The "Tonight, To Knight" print is available at Blonde Grizzly, it is print 3/45. I was convinced that the print was mine, because I was totally willing to drop at least two hundred dollars on it; you see, the print was originally only $80.00 online, but was sold out when I went to purchase it. I emailed the artist and he said that the prints were limited and no more would be sold. I have scoured ebay countless times to no avail, until the day that I walked by the fucking thing hanging on the store wall downtown! The store was closed, and I contemplated putting a rock through the window to steal the painting, which I decided was counterproductive (and there were too many witnesses.) I called and talked to the owner the second I was at work the next day, he thanked me for not vandalizing his store. The print is not $200, the print is $400! Needless to say, I cried (which is pretty pathetic,) and I've since been daydreaming about someone surprising me with the print.

Anyway, I follow the artist's blog at and he has recently started a really cool horror-movie night at his newest retail store in SF. The movie night is limited to people who purchase one of twenty prints that are sold for $10 every Monday at noon. The print is your ticket, which is totally worth the money (why don't I live in San Francisco again?) I was reading the re-cap of the night, and looking at pictures, and none other than Aesop Rock showed up to the first movie night (he also lives in SF.) It was here that I read about Aesop's new website, The website is awesome, which is to be expected from Mister Rock. Check it out:

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Cupcakes and Wine

One of my best friends in the whole world turned thirty this week, and to celebrate he put together a party at Divas Cupcakes and Coffee in Salt Lake. There was a spread of cupcakes and wine, which was absolutely adorable; the cupcakes were delicious! I was able to taste the red velvet, and s'mores cupcakes, and they were both to die for! I overheard a few people raving about the tomato basil soup as well. They have a beautiful patio, and greenhouse, I will definitely be going there to study.
Tons of wonderful people came out to celebrate in honor of Steve. It was a great time, and I'm so thankful to have friends like Steve in my life. Travy was also there and he drove with me to the event, it was really nice to catch up.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Ben left for Hawaii on Monday, and it was quite the emotional event.
I cried all the way to the airport, it couldn't be helped.
It hit us like a ton of bricks on Sunday night; we won't be able to touch each other for a month. A pause has been put on movies, dinners, snuggling, jiu-jitsu, and naps. Hawaii is a bitch.
I'm going to Maui October 9-17th for a visit (it will be fall break.) If I wasn't going to Maui, I'm pretty sure we'd both explode.

We went on our long awaited "fancy" date to Spencer's and ate some delicious food as a final hoorah before he took off. Ben was given a much appreciated gift certificate from our friend/instructor Pedro, and the $104 tab only took $25.00 out of our pockets. The food was great, and it was nice to get all dressed up (Ben looked so handsome in his slacks and button-down maroon shirt.)

I can't wait for him to come home, I miss him very much. People say, "time makes the heart grow fonder," but what if you are already fond to the millionth power?

Friday, September 10, 2010


Ben's house flooded. The hose to his ice maker came undone and the water was running for an unknown amount of time, my personal estimate is eight hours. The carpets are completely ruined, a printer was drowned, and the place smells vaguely of mildew. The catastrophe wasn't really catastrophic considering the fact that nothing of much importance was ruined other than the general aesthetics of the apartment. Hopefully the cabinets don't need to be replaced, that would be expensive. Out of all that has happened, I mostly just feel bad for Ben. He has been so stressed working to finish three gates, work on the Chevelle, and a fuel tank/tow package, all before he leaves for Hawaii for two months (which is on Monday.) I can't wait for him to be out of debt, he deserves it more than anyone I know.
(The flooded living room)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Show Me The Money

There is a really cool website where you can track stimulus spending, check it out:

You can check projects by zip code, and even read a list of non-compliant recipients that is being tracked to make people accountable for the money. I think this site is a great tool, and it was a lot of fun to research and play around on. I checked out some of the money received for higher education, and the numbers were staggering:

The University of Utah received $120,165,409! Go Utes and Federal Government!
UVU received $19,114,616, Utah State received $41,790,992, SLCC received $10,623,731, and Weber State $9,498,066 (all numbers are approximations from my cursory glances.) As a student I'm pretty partial to this type of funding!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Drew and Justin

This weekend Ben and I went to see "Going The Distance" at Megaplex 20. (POSSIBLE SPOILERS!)
The movie tells the story of Erin, an aspiring journalist, and Garrett a record label scout that meet in New York while Erin is visiting from San Fran for an internship. The two experience a wonderful summer romance, and at the end of the time decide that they can't live without each other and should try a long distance relationship. Garrett (Justin Long) is absolutely lovable and his two friends Box (Jason Sudeikis) and Dan (Charlie Day) are a hilarious support system that stole the show. Erin (Drew Barrymore) receives advice from her cynical and blunt sister Corinne (Christina Applegate) and Corinne's husband Phil (Jim Gaffigan,) who lends to the duo with impeccable comedic timing. The whole show centers on their relationship and the real issue at hand, can a long-distance relationship work? (The answer, by the way, is yes.)
The movie was absolutely hilarious and I highly recommend it. It wasn't typical in the sense that the girl pines for the guy the whole movie, takes all of the initiative, and ends up heartbroken; the movie was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and sentimental . It had humor that appealed to a broad spectrum of people and the casual dialogue was hilarious. The trio of male friends discuss "low man crying" and how it looks like one of the characters is "sucking his own dick," The day it is released to DVD, I will be purchasing it, and you should too.

The whole movie I was also transfixed on Drew Barrymore's clothes; her style is unique and absolutely adorable! I wish I had her wardrobe! The fact that Ben loved the movie says something about the content, he is a tough critic (who usually hates the movies I choose,) and he laughed the whole time.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

By the Grace of Giants

My Professor Tim Chambless touched upon a story in class that I felt the need to retell. We had just finished watching Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech (August 28, 1963) on the projector, when he began to speak of President Kennedy's assassination (November 22, 1963.) He recounted a story involving his friend David. David met and briefly talked with (then) Senator Kennedy in 1960 when he made a campaign stop to the State of Utah. David described Kennedy in all of the typical ways that people did after meeting the famous politician, he was polite and charismatic.
It was three years later on September 29th, 1963 when President Kennedy came to Utah to flip the switch activating generators at Flaming Gorge that David met the President again. David was on the fringes of the crowd, and as the President walked by, he hesitated, gave a look of recognition to David and walked over to him, shaking his hand he politely said, "Hi, how are you doing, Dave, right?"
Sometimes there are simple moments when you realize you love someone. There are moments when what was once a fantasy becomes a reality. There are stories like this that leave me breathless, stories that make my heroes seem real. It is my sincere belief that there are politicians who care, politicians that will remember your name, and sometimes it is nice to be reminded that the possibility is real.

Presidential candidate Sen. John F. Kennedy
speaks inside the Mormon Tabernacle on Sept. 23, 1960.
(Deseret News archives)

Friday, August 27, 2010

10:45 A.M.

The University of Utah campus is absolutely gorgeous! This little view is what I see every day as I leave the parking lot, and it isn't even close to spectacular relative to the other views on campus. The diversity on campus is fantastic, and you never know what you are going to see. Today, one of the noteworthy sights at The U was two boys, both fashionable and fairly good looking, riding together on a skateboard. I heard one exclaim (as his friend tucked his head under his armpit, with his arms around his waist,) "Fuck, we're going to die. You do the brakes, your shoes are better." Regardless of fear, they sailed beyond my view; way to commit boys, way to commit

Monday, August 23, 2010

Turn Your Faces Inside Out

We had another AMAZING road trip! This time, we followed Aesop Rock to Reno for a show at The Knitting Factory. To be quite frank, I thought that the level of awesome achieved in Boulder, CO at the first Aesop show that I saw was going to be a fluke, it wasn't. The sound in the venue was great, we were close to the stage, it wasn't too rowdy, and we arrived on-time. Essentially, it was the perfect concert.

I love Aesop, Big Wiz, and Rob Sonic more every time I hear, watch, or experience something new that they put out. My admiration grew leaps and bounds after Reno. This time after the show I was able to meet all three members of Hail Mary Mallon, and take pictures with each member individually. Rob and Wiz signed my ticket!! Rob Sonic is one relaxed dude, and Wiz is super nice. I love that while Aesop is signing autographs, the other two members are taking down sound equipment and projectors. They aren't relegated to stage crew work because they have to, rather, their fans have dissipated and they want to let Aes do his thing. Aesop was really great, he grew his hair out, and he looks absolutely fantastic! He signed my copy of "Daylight" that Ben bought for me after the show, and I have another picture of us together (which I'll post later!!!) My boyfriend is the best, that CD was one of the best gifts ever!! This time Ben was able to get pictures with all of the artists as well, and he had Aesop sign a "Fast Cars" CD and his ticket.

The road trip itself was fantastic, we listened to the Max Brooks audiobook, "World War Z" on the way to Reno. The book is extremely well written and the audibook is read by a full cast (including Alan Alda!) On the way home we stopped at one of our favorite places, Wingers!! MMMMMMMMMMM, we sure do love some wings! After Wingers we stopped in Wendover where we shamefully threw away $120.00!!!! The ride home was VERY fun, we ate tons of junk food, talked A LOT, and did other things to keep us busy. By the time we reached SLC we were pooped, it was the perfect end to my summer! School started on Monday, and the transition sucked a little less because of the weekend that preceded it!

Our list of places traveled to may not be impressive to most, but I'm loving making additions!
  • Boulder, CO
  • Arvada, CO
  • San Francisco, CA
  • Wendover, NV
  • Reno, NV
  • Irvine, CA
Next to the list we'll add Hawaii, Thailand and New York!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Workin' Out

School starts on Monday and I am so excited! I usually start the semester out really strong and fizzle out toward the end, but my goal this semester is to maintain a healthy pace of involvement from beginning to end! One large change this semester will be in my workout routine, I have to cut back on my time at Absolute, but I'm going to be supplementing my workout regimen with weight training on Mondays and Wednesdays with my friend Dave. We have an hour and twenty minute break between classes, so we'll be working out at the Field House. I'm excited to get a new type of workout in; weight training twice a week, and training muay Thai and BJJ three times a week will definitely keep me sane and in shape!

Also, I've been picking up kettlebells twice a week with Rebecca at the gym, and I'm really excited about keeping up on the schedule; sport kettlebells are something that definitely intrigue me, and after about a year or so (or whenever Rob says I'm ready,) I'd love to try to compete.

As far as BJJ goes I recently competed in the Utah Grappling Games on July 31st. It was my first grappling tournament. I participated in the women's middleweight gi division, and took 2nd place. I had two matches, the first which I won with points, and the second that I lost via arm lock. The first time jitters were enough to damn my entire performance, and although I'm proud that I went out to compete, watching the videos made me really negative about my overall performance. I can't wait to go back and try even harder in the next tournament.

In other workout news, I signed up for the Dirty Dash with Megan Allen and Sara Meidell, which will be super exciting! I'm not going to make the same mistake that I did for the SLC Half Marathon, I will be running to train for this one!

We leave tomorrow to see Aesop in Reno! Pictures and tales to come!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Kind of Rain

Just about a week ago it rained three nights in a row, and the thunder and lightning were amazing. One particularly stormy night I fell asleep during a movie on the couch, but when the power went off, I had a very eager boyfriend wake me up to go watch nature's show. Ben roused me, and I threw the blanket over my head (virgin mother style,) and we went out onto the porch. The wind was blowing the rain right into the porch, so we threw the blanket over our heads and ran to the Red Dragon. We slapped through the wet concrete with nothing but bare feet and laid across the backseat to watch the show. The windows fogged while we "ooed" and "aaawed" with every crack of the lightning; we didn't go back into the house until the storm was merely a drizzle.

It was one of those amazing nights that you think about afterward, and you realize how lucky you are to have such a fun person in your life. I wish I had some pictures, but I've been without my camera as of late.

Also, the frogs have been named. They are named, Carl (thanks Cam.) That's right, I named them both Carl, now their identical exterior is moot!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


I have wanted a dog for a really long time! You see, I lost my beautiful Boxer, Marley when I left Pete, and I have a serious burning desire for a new dog! I will one day own a dog, but I'm going to err on the smaller side, and buy a Boston Terrier! The dog will be a boy, and his name will be Klosterman. In the meantime, I have purchased two Aquatic Frogs! They haven't been named yet, because they are identical, but one day they will have names. I can't cuddle with them, but they are cute nonetheless.

Friday, July 2, 2010


It has been a while since I last updated, and although there has been a lot going on, the most significant thing has been my overwhelming feelings of happiness. Pardon the rambling that is about to ensue...

I've been trying very hard to focus on positive things in my life, and eliminate sources of negativity. My happiness is in my control. When I start to complain about a "horrible" day, I usually stop mid-sentence to list some good things that have occurred. I live a life that is full of excitement, luxury, and opportunity.

I've learned over the past year and a half that my communication skills are vital to my happiness, and that clear communication in everything that I do is crucial. I'm learning to say no, and I'm learning to let go. Rather than make excuses, I decline invitations. Rather than say what I think people want to hear (which has never been too much of a problem,) I lay it all on the line. I have relieved myself of toxic relationships, and I'm surrounded by people who (in the words of my mother) "build me up, rather than break me down." I don't care how long I have known a person, or if they are a member of my family, if they present obstacles to my happiness, the relationship is reduced to a manageable form, or completely eliminated.

I'm settling into myself as a woman. I will continue to change, because that is a natural process, but I'm embracing things about myself that remain constant.

I am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude knowing that there is no god, and my confidence in secular thinking and skepticism has touched every facet of my life. I am thankful for the sliver of time I occupy in the vast history of this planet, and I no longer live my life half-assed with the convoluted hope that eternity will prove to be better. I'm invigorated with the desire to finally finish school and devour the knowledge that will help me to have a successful career.

My physical health is constantly improving, and I'm becoming more and more happy in my own skin. Almost every time I leave a rendezvous with my friends I can't help but ramble on about how great they make me feel. I have found a significant other that loves me for my individual qualities, and he accepts me without condition. We recently went to the SLC Arts Festival with our friends Natalie, Alek, Sara and Josh, and as we walked around, holding hands, kissing, laughing and talking I noticed that the other couples were doing the same thing; everyone was so happy, and seemed completely satisfied. There were no pretenses, just happiness. I was one of those people, who a few years ago seemed like an elite few. I have never experienced a healthy romantic relationship like the one I have now, and I'm so excited to nurture it and watch it grow.

I probably sound like a rambling, new-age whacko with all of this happy-go-lucky emotional sharing, but it must be done. I feel amazing, and I'm so grateful. My happiness isn't a product of fate or chance, it is a creation of mine. For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy being me, and I wouldn't trade places with anyone.

Friday, May 28, 2010


I've recently started sparring a little at my gym (Absolute MMA,) and it is turning out to be a lot of fun. I came to the gym last Friday and Rob told me that he had a girl that he wanted me to spar with. I told him that I would love to spar, but I have an infection in my nose. He explained that the infection was Staph, and I should watch it. I guess Staph is a bacteria that we carry in our nose, and when I was kneed in the face during Jiu-jitsu, it gave me a minor infection (it is clearing up without so much as a trip to the doctor.) Anyway, the gal that he wanted me to spar with is named Alexis Asher. Alexis is an absolute badass, she is a Golden Gloves boxer with twelve boxing matches, and five Muy Thai fights. I was grateful that Rob felt I was ready for the experience, and I was also terrified. Due to the infection Rob decided that we should just kick-spar.
Kick sparring is exactly as it sounds, there are only kicks allowed, no punches, knees, or elbows. The first day that we kick sparred I was shocked with my ability to defend kicks. I planned on strictly defending the entire time, but I was able to land a few kicks, and fared pretty well. My entire left shin was covered in bruises by the time we were done, but I felt absolutely amazing afterward. On Monday I came into the gym to kick-spar again, but was told that we would be punching as well; I would have the liberty to punch Alexis in the head, but she was only allowed to punch me in the body, I was thankful for the advantage. This session went remarkably well, and I was happy with my performance. Alexis has much more ring experience than I do, and could have killed me if she desired, but she was very controlled and let me get in enough work that I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Alexis lives in Brooklyn, but is contemplating moving to Utah, I hope that she does, because she would be a remarkable training partner. I was also able to kick-spar on Monday with a gal named Sierra, which provided a great lesson in learning how to read people and find a comfortable pace and rhythm for engagement. I left after my first two sessions feeling that I had done well for my experience level, and I was happy to apply the skill set that my instructors have equipped me with. I have never been so afraid of an activity, but loved it so much. I have also never wanted to excel for the sake of another as much as I do with martial arts; I am very proud to train under the expertise of Rob Handley, Pedro Sierra, and Camrann Pacheco, and everything that they teach me I want to apply with as much precision as possible. They are amazing teachers, and they deserve amazing students. My success is directly correlated to their teachings, and I want to make them proud with my attempts to apply the knowledge they so graciously share.

Sparring on Wednesday night was not quite as fun as Saturday and Monday, and I almost cried in the ring. The addition of shots to the head was overwhelming, and to my chagrin my brain seemed to shut down, which resulted in me behaving like a deer in headlights. I hate to admit it, but sparring with men brings another level of intimidation to the game, and I can't wait to move beyond such an irrational fear.

I will work my ass off to become better at this sport. Muay Thai is simple, but not easy, and I will continue for as long as I am able to try to improve.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


I love Sundays! I absolutely love, love, love Sunday mornings; we get to sleep in, and we don't have to rush! This sunday we woke up at nine, and snuggled until about ten. During the weekdays the first alarm goes off fifteen minutes before I have to get out of bed, because I always pull they standard, "spoon me for five more minutes." After consuming breakfast, and watching episodes of Avatar we slept from noon to two, and it was one of the best naps I have ever taken!! After showering and such, we played Jenga!!! We bought Jenga a few weeks ago and haven't had a chance to play it since, but today was the day! I threatened to kick Ben's booty at the game, because I do that frequently, but I lost.

We made it to thirty-two levels, and then it all came tumbling down.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Summer Fun

Ben and I make lists of restaurants, movies, and fun stuff to do. Here is the rough draft of the summer list!

  1. The Zoo
  2. Camping (Mineral Basin and various other locations)
  3. Blowing bubbles at the park
  4. Moab
  5. Gallivan concerts
  6. Tracy Aviary
  7. Water Park
  8. Cali
  9. Feeding ducks
  10. Museum (Art and Natural History)
Bring on the warm weather, and outdoor fornication!!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Dating 101

Last night I attended a seminar that was put on by a delightful woman, Karen Kindred. The seminar was called "Dating 101." I have two friends that have used Karen as their therapist, and they both had nothing but fantastic things to say about her, and that's how we ended up attending. I ended up going with Ben, Alek, Natalie, Vanessa, and two other friends, Heidi and Leanna. This seminar gave me some great insight into dating, a renewed confidence in myself, and it was more clear than usual that I'm a feminist.

The room was full of beautiful women and men, all whom were perfectly quaffed and dressed to the nines. I'm pretty sure if you took the money that each person spent on their outfit, plus the cost off accessories and toiletries, you could pay for my under-grad, they were that kind of people. Did I mention that it was held at a country club? I felt a tad out of place before things began, but when we split into sex-segregated groups to answer questions from the perspective of both sexes (i.e. What's the worst thing someone can do on a date?,) I found that I stuck out like an underdressed and sore thumb. These women had zero clue what it was like to date and behave like a grown up, and the men didn't seem to have any real world conception of the time period we currently occupy. Many of the girls in my group (my friends and one beautiful girl with curly black hair being the exception) didn't seem fit to date a door knob. These girls seemed to be lacking an identity, and independence. I didn't bite my tongue during the entire exercise, and as I've often found, you could see so many of these repressed young women lapping it up. They gasped when I said certain things, but laughed and gave me the knowing blush that I've seen so many times. The look in their eyes says "I HAVE SHIT TO SAY, BUT I'M AFRAID TO BE SHUNNED!" I probably sounded semi-crazy, but I'm learning to be comfortable with that. In fact, I don't see it as crazy; my personality is unique, and I have many endearing qualities. This seminar was like the ten minute mile you complete after you haven't worked out for a while, you feel out of shape, but relatively speaking, you're pretty fit. I realized in the face of all of these people that I'm going to find someone. I know myself, and that is one of the key components in finding a counterpart. My identity does not change, and it is unique, and anyone worth forming a commitment with will appreciate that.

My main contention with the exercise was that there were so many gender biased assumptions. When the question came up whether or not a woman should ask a man out on a date, the resounding answer from most seemed to be "no," but not just "no" a "HELL NO!"; The predominance of Mormons in the room barred the profanity, but the concept of a woman making the first move was met with emphatic rejection. We were in four groups, and each group had to share their two responses, this opened up some give and take between groups. One guy actually said "A man needs to feel like a man," when referring to paying for dinner. I couldn't help but blurt out in an irritated intonation "We vote now." I feel that the world would be a much more navigable place if everyone tried with all of their might to abandon the social construct of gender. The poor sucker that tries to feel worthwhile because he pays for dinner needs to get a hobby, because if a woman offers to pay, it's because she has the money to pay and wants to show you that she's grateful for the good time. Society has us pumped full of these ideas and concepts that don't make any sense. Why should an extroverted girl not ask out the cute guy at the coffee shop that is shy, but innocently flirts? Any logical human being that doesn't let their life be dictated by gender roles would see this as an acceptable thing to do, the people in this room didn't agree.

The dating tips given at the end were amazing. I need to work on my problem with "forecasting." I need to quit thinking ahead to the next date when I'm sitting with the person, and enjoy the moment. Also, I realized that liking someone is more important than loving someone. I was with someone for years that didn't like me and it was miserable. I'm not going to turn this entry into my attestation for why I think Ben is fantastic, but it made me realize things about our relationship and dynamic. The whole time I kept looking over at Ben and thinking that it was fantastic that he enjoys my taste in music, he likes that I want to buy board games at midnight, and he enjoys my spontaneity. He doesn't yell at me for embarrassing him, because I don't. I don't feel inferior because he is multi-talented, and I don't think he's dissatisfied because he is always striving to improve. Those are some of the things I really like about him, and Karen pointed out that it is better to like someone, and have fun with them than be in love. Love grows from like, and you shouldn't force it. Life isn't a fairytale, but sitting at home while eating Thai food, rolling/snuggling, playing California Speed, and watching the same movie IS a fairytale. If you can laugh for days with someone just by making sound effects, your relationship is better off, because when you can't pay your bills on time, you may as well be laughing.

All in all, the night was fantastic. We enjoyed some major people bashing after, and even when I don't want a person as a permanent fixture in my life, I always enjoy meeting new faces and experiencing new things. An experience may be bad, but it makes life richer, and I want to be a billionaire in that sense before I croak.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Cinder Block Legs

I signed up for the SLC Half Marathon on April 17th and the Ragnar Relay race in June. I'm terrified, I kick and punch stuff, I don't run! This should be a nice challenge. Tonight is my first night running outside; three miles seems like an awfully long distance.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Scones and Moans

This weekend was absolutely fantastic!

My recommendations after this weekend are as follows: 1.) Wait to see the movie Cop Out until it comes out on video. There were some very funny parts, and I was not overly disappointed, but I can't knowingly recommend the movie at eight dollars a ticket. 2.) If you have not dined at Johanna's Kitchen in Sandy, you MUST! The food is delicious, and reasonably priced. Ben and I went there twice this weekend, we tried the corned beef and hash, a breakfast burrito, french toast, and their delectable scones! Everything we tried and everything our friends tried was fantastic! 3.) Please check out my dearest Bentley's blog page and subscribe! We will be posting fun news and tournament information there. In order to get some things up and running for sponsorships we need to get his name and information out there! I have never met anyone that deserves something more, and any help that we can get in perpetuating his name is appreciated. He's also on Twitter, and Facebook!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Aesop Rock

Ben and I traveled to Boulder, Colorado on the 18th for the Aesop Rock concert. We drove for nine hours (by we, I mean Ben,) in a freaking blizzard. The roads were hell, and we left so late that we had to drive straight to the venue without stopping at the hotel. The driving conditions and our tardiness did not detract from the fact that we had some amazing conversations, shared great stories, and witnessed things ranging from a palatial truck stop, to a horror-movie-esque gas station. We did manage to stop at the local Wal-mart near the venue to procure two silver sharpies; the sharpies were purchased with the hope that I would get Aes to sign the lyric book I mentioned in my previous post.

I was trying not to panic because we were running late, but I'm pretty sure that my excessive map checking and phone flipping gave away my anxiety. At one point while trying to find the venue I said something to the effect of "If we miss the show, my fucking life is over." I think my anxiety was compounded by the fact that I had consumed twelve times my daily dose of sugar, and we had been listening to an awful audiobook, Paulo Cohello's, Eleven Minutes, which could possibly be one of the most horrendous books I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. As a serious aside, Cohello uses so much mystical language, and blatantly contradicts himself throughout the book, that I literally wouldn't hesitate to burn a copy of this novel. Anyway, we finally found the venue, The Fox Theater, but parking was virtually non-existent. It is a college town and we parked in a lot that was gated and had a sign stating that tickets would be issued for all cars parked after 11:30 p.m. I told Ben that the ticket would be worth it, and we parked.

Seeing "Aesop Rock" on the marquee literally gave me chills. We made it inside, and the show hadn't even started! I was so incredibly relieved that we didn't miss any of the show. We managed to get close enough to the stage that I could reach out and touch the stage, only two tiny people were separating me from the space that was going to be occupied by my favorite artist. The air felt electric to me, and the anticipation was literally making my chest hurt. Then, it happened, Ian Matthias Bavitz came onto the stage.

Aesop came onto the stage, and I screamed like a twelve year old at an 'Nsync concert. It was almost surreal seeing him perform, he literally sounds better live than he does on CD. His performance was flawless. He was accompanied by Rob Sonic and DJ Big Whiz, both accomplices helped to make the show one that I will never forget. Aesop dances like a total weirdo, but it fits with the music. At one point he was standing on one foot with the other leg stretched out behind him, both hands clasped in front of his chest, sort of like a handicapped ballerina. He smiles like a little kid, and closes his eyes when he raps. Between songs he gave numerous accolades to Big Whiz and Rob Sonic, there wasn't any of the pompous self-proclamations of greatness that most people associate with hip-hop. The only bling he wore was his wedding ring, that he pointed at and stated "I can't," to a skanky girl that was showing her boobs to him, and begging him to come over. This was a real performance, by a real artist, and the experience was better than I ever could have imagined.

He performed some of my favorite songs, "Labor," "No Regrets," "Daylight," "Nightlight," "Big Bang," "Catacomb Kids," "Fast Cars," "Pigs," and even Ben's favorite, "Fish Tales." Basically, I love every one of his songs, and each one made me happier than the previous when I witnessed his body spew the vibrations into the microphone. I could hardly move throughout the whole show, I just kept one hand on Ben's belt, and smiled from ear to ear!I probably looked handicapped with the way that I was acting, I have never felt so happy. It was surreal seeing his tattoos in person. I have stared at picture of this man for hours on end, and there he was, feet away.

The show ended, and he announced that he would be signing stuff at the merch booth. We waited for about fifteen minutes, and he came out. I stood in a line that was about three people long, and was poised like a dork with my sharpie opened in one hand, and my lyric book in the other. Each person that moved I took one small step forward.

I talked to Aesop Rock. I made Aesop Rock laugh. Aesop Rock put his arm around my shoulder. Aesop rock is immortalized in a photo where my head is resting on his shoulder. Aesop Rock signed my lyric book. Aesop Rock made my year, and he doesn't even know it.

I managed to stay cool as a cucumber during the encounter, but went beavershit crazy once we made it outside. I have never been so excited, I almost cried. I screamed, I beamed, and I hugged Ben over and over. We walked with our arms around each other, and I just kept repeating "I met Aesop!" I looked at the picture at least fifty times in twenty minutes. I called my mother and best friend (Travis) at two in the morning on a Thursday to tell them about the event. I now have the picture of Aesop set as the background on my Macbook and my Ipod. I'm getting the picture framed with the lyric book, and yes, I will gladly drive in inclement weather for hours on end to see him again, someday.

P.S. I feel terribly guilty that Ben didn't get a picture with Aesop, I didn't have enough of my wits about me to even offer. Thankfully, Ben didn't seem to mind.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


My little brother bought me gas today, and said "It's for your birthday dawg." My little brother put five dollars in my gas tank, I must be getting old.

Turning twenty-two on a Tuesday is one of the most uneventful experiences known to humankind. I wish all birthdays were always celebrated with the enthusiasm that is given to a child's fifth birthday, that would make for a fun aging process.

"Aes fucking Rock is in the building, the room looked up, looked down, kept sniffing." I bought tickets to see Aesop Rock in Colorado on February 18th. I'm happier than a make-a-wish recipient (mostly because I don't have a terminal illness,) but also because I adore that man's art more than it is possible to articulate. He is a lyrical genius, and a madman. I use the way I feel about Aesop to describe how I feel about love, and I judge potential mates based on their ability to appreciate his lyrics. If I was a more fickle person, I would have at least one of his album covers tattooed on my arm, or the Weathermen symbol, that's right, I love him that much. I hope I can get him to sign my Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives EP Special Edition lyric book, and maybe snag a picture with him, that would be the tops. Also, if he sucks live it will be when my personal giant falls.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Adventures Just Keep Getting Better

"When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words 'He dies,' but because of the life we saw prior to the words." -Mr. Magorium

Friday, February 5, 2010

Pepsi Challenge

Challenge: Holiday gas station slushees v. 7-11 Slurpees.

Verdict: Holiday kicked 7-11's ass.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


par·ent (pârnt, pr-)n.
An organism that produces or generates offspring.

Sometimes a parent simply produces and is otherwise useless afterward, nothing more and nothing less.

boyfriend [ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd]n
a male friend with whom a person is romantically or sexually involved; sweetheart or lover.

Sometimes, shit just happens, and you can't explain it.

enemy [ˈɛnəmɪ]n pl -mies
1. a person hostile or opposed to a policy, cause, person, or group, esp one who actively tries to do damage; opponent.

Sometimes, it's the person you least suspect.


exhausted (adj.) - drained of energy or effectiveness; extremely tired; completely exhausted; "the day's shopping left her exhausted"; "he went to bed dog-tired"; "was fagged and sweaty"; "the trembling of his played out limbs"; "felt completely washed-out"; "only worn-out horses and cattle"; "you look worn out"

Monday, February 1, 2010


I was supposed to go on a date tonight, but was still feeling sniffly and gross, so I cancelled. Rather, I invited two of my best friends in the whole world over, Travis and Steve. I cooked the two of them dinner (recipe courtesy of Vanessa The Beautiful Scientist;) we dined on Brie stuffed turkey burgers with grilled red onions and granny smith apples, nestled atop warmed ciabatta rolls. For sides we had a green salad, and multigrain tortilla chips with our choice of peach salsa, and a mango habanero salsa. The mango habanero salsa is to die for, the brand is "Mrs. Renfro's," I highly recommend it!
We sat around and laughed and laughed, as friends are wont to do. We looked at pictures of boys on Facebook, and I love that we can see pictures of hot men and make statements like, "But he's Mormon, such a waste," and "he's gay," and after moving to the next picture that is quickly followed with, "and apparently a bottom." Note: the aforementioned quotes were all a reference to the same person. We listen to Travis discuss the tumults of a committed relationship, and Steve and I discuss that we're bitter after breakups, but being single can be fantastic. We talk about the State of the Union Address, the Grammy's and the adjective "faggoty" is used by Trav, and then me (I don't recommend using this word unless you are in the comfort of close-gay company, and they use it first.)
Eventually the frozen Jr. Mints come out, and there is one more glass of wine to be had. I love my friends, and the ones that I have are the best. I can tell them anything, and they tell me what I need to hear. It was a fantastic evening, and I realized that it was probably better than any date ever could be.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Cough, Cough, Cry

I would much rather have the stomach flu than deal with any type of congestion.

My chest is burning, and I'm pretty sure I've consumed more cough syrup than any human being should. Perhaps drinking a bottle of cheap vodka would do the same thing and cost a bit less? I can't wait to feel better so that I can train and read without my pounding headache.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Old Maid

Most of my friends are married; A fair amount of them are in very significant relationships, the others have houses, condos, and kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm behind the curve relative to others in my life (and in my age group,) but I suppose I'm just taking a different route. After all, I'm only twenty-one, and Utah is wacky.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Keeping 'Em Confused

"Did you just stroke my mustache," that's how I respond when a man expresses subconscious affection by caressing my lips? I'm definitely going to work on the way I accept compliments and affectionate gestures.

Also, when you say that there is a "good kind of romance" versus a "bad kind of romance" that statement involves some serious explanation, and you always sound critical during said explanation. Doh!

Pictured above is a sign of "bad romance."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Skeptical Eye

I have recently moved out of my parent's abode and I'm staying at my friend Mallory's Dad's house while he is out of town. I'm house sitting his magnificent condo, and after that I will be moving somewhere undecided. Living alone is absolutely fantastic, however, the first night was touch and go. I moved into the condo on a Sunday night at about ten o'clock, and was walking around the condo flipping light switches and checking windows and doors to ensure that they were properly secured. I turned on the light above the stairs on the main level, and walked into the basement, where the laundry room is. I turned on the laundry room light and the basement light, and walked into the laundry room. When I came out of the laundry room the basement light was off, and after feeling the light switch, I deduced that the bulb had clearly burned out. I walk upstairs, and the light above the stairs on the main level was also out. I went to bed, and while laying in bed, the light above the stairs randomly turned on; I almost shat my pants when the light came on. I had to say aloud "you are a rational human being, calm down, point your skeptical eye." I then pointed my actual eyes at the nearest blunt object, and after going over the logistics of beating someone to death with a lamp, I decided that my mitts would have to suffice, and I flew out of the bedroom door in my fight stance. As it turns out, I was alone in the house, and the electrical in this place is just a tad finicky.
In addition to the great lighting situation, I've also discovered that the condo next door shares a wall with my staircase, so it sounds like they are walking on my stairs when they walk through their house. I can see how less rational people believe in ghosts.

"You are a rational person, calm down, point your skeptical eye."

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Holiday Recap

The past few weeks have been very eventful. Christmas came and went, and it's officially a New Year! Christmas Eve consisted of picking my dad up from a crack house, well it was about noon that I picked him up, but that aside, it was a great night. Ben went to dinner with me, my mom, and Braeden, and it was a blast. Christmas Day was fantastic, everyone loved their gifts and the family behaved as well as they know how. The 26th of December I went on an epic sledding adventure with VTS, Ben, and Dave Komi at Sugarhouse Park. The infamous "one last run" was performed by Vaness and Bentley, and ended with them riding "doubles" and crashing with great style. Ben's hip is still acting up, and Vanessa hit her head, but they looked good doing it!

New Year's Eve was AWESOME! I went to a party at Dusty's (a friend I have acquired through Ben,) and I experienced some delectable marijuana brownies. The brownies tasted fine going down, but when I regurgitated them later in the evening, they were not so great. I was only going to consume four drinks at the maximum, but that quota was quickly forgotten when I was offered shots; after all, it's rude to turn down drinks from someone that's hosting a party! I was going along just fine, when Ben ate two small chunks of the illegal treats. Then, Natalie ate some of them. Here's a good place for an aside, Natalie is the girlfriend of Alek. Alek is one of Ben's best friends since waaaayy back in the day. Alek is quite possibly one of the best people on the planet, and so is Dusty. Dusty hosted the party, and is currently letting us teach the two of them kickboxing on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the guy is freaking awesome. Birds of a feather or something, because both Dusty and Alek roll around with Ben, and Alek snagged Nat, who is quite possibly one of the coolest women that I've ever met, and I've only been around her for about four hours in total. Annnyway, Ben and Natalie are eating brownies, and I decide that it's a good idea if I eat some. I proceeded to eat a substantial amount of chocolate goods, in fact, I ate the last piece, and the crumbs at the bottom of the tupperware. Waste not, want not. These brownies are like ninja assassins, they snuck into my system (rather, they were let in through the front door, but go with the analogy,) and then hid behind the curtain of booze for about two hours. At around one o' clock, Ben was completely freaked out because he was so completely high, and the ninja brownies started kicking in my skull, and we crashed on a Love Sack. We were giggling and conspiring while hanging out, and poor Alek had to drive us home, because Drunky Mchighs A Lot, and her sidekick, Ben were incapable of operating heavy machinery. When we got back to Ben's, the ish really hit the fan. I remembered why I don't do drugs, that stuff makes me paranoid. The room started spinning (due to the exorbitant amount of alcohol mixing with the THC) and I had to conduct some breathing exercises reminding myself that I was fine, and it would wear off, eventually. Poor Ben, who was experiencing weed for the second time in his life, and has never consumed ethanol, was laying in bed cursing everyone that convinced him that two pieces would barely effect him. Ben told me to stop asking him questions because I was making him paranoid, and we were both upset that the other person wasn't sober enough to help. Aaaaah, smells like bonding to me. I puked twice and crashed. The next morning, we were both still slightly inebriated, and we pinky swore to never eat Mary Jane Baked Goods ever again!! The night really was a lot of fun, and I was very happy to ring in the New Year with someone that I absolutely adore. I'm glad the Holidays are over, but I'm even happier that I have fantastic memories for the 2009 season of forced merriment.

Wait, the holidays are not over, because just when I think that I'm finally done, the Valentine's Day paraphernalia clogs up store aisles. I would like someone to buy me a book for Valentine's Day, and maybe even some flowers. I'll just buy myself some lilies and make a trip to Barnes, screw this love game and the shitty corporate holiday it rode in on.