Blue Belt

It's about to get real braggy up in here.

Last Saturday I received my blue belt in Behring Jiu Jitsu, which is a big fat deal.  You see, jits hurts.  It hurts a lot.  It takes most people at least three months just to learn how to breathe instead of hyperventilate (you can always spot the newbs, because they grunt and get kind of purple when they aren't being choked).  It is bone on bone contact. Your body has to harden.  Skin gets pinched, you take unintended knees and elbows to all different parts of the body, and you learn really quick that rolling around in a gi is like wearing a sauna suit.  It is rough stuff for a while, but it does get better.

I never thought it would, but jiu jitsu did get better.  Apparently, my coaches think that I am better as well.

In the sport everyone starts with a white belt.  After the white belt the rankings go like this: blue, purple, brown, black (there are some variations on the black belt that eventually lead to red, but that takes an eternity and I don't feel qualified to explain the process).  I have trained for two and a half years, that is why it is a big deal.  The amount of people that actually make it to the first belt is small, and the amount of people that stick around after that is even smaller still.  I reached the first milestone.  My coaches think that I have enough skills and have put in enough time to be a blue belt.  It feels really good.

Grand Master Flavio Behring tied my belt on.  The belt that he tied on is custom with "Chillpack" embroidered on it.  Ben couldn't make the seminar and he had the belt made as a surprise.  I almost cried when I saw it.  After the belts were awarded (some of my very deserving teammates were also promoted to blue belts), Pedro gave me a photocopy of a handwritten letter from Ben to read in private at the front of the gym.  I didn't almost cry at this point.  I cried.

After I wiped my eyes and walked back onto the mat of sixty-five or more athletes, the Gauntlet ensued.  The Gauntlet is the rite of passage that requiress you walk through the middle of your teammates who hold the same rank or above.  Those teammates take off their belts, fold them in half (or if you're a real asshole, as many times as possible), and they flagellate you.  Yup, they whip you as you walk through.  I personally don't understand this part of the ritual.  I don't see the point and I can't help but feel repelled by this weird hazing ordeal, but it felt great afterwards.  The rush was truly unparalleled.

On the journey to this first belt I have learned a lot more than basic bjj.  These are the things I feel jiu jitsu has taught me:

1.) One thing at a time.  Don't become overwhelmed by the entirety of any given situation, just focus on the immediate threat.  If you can survive the first onslaught of anything, you have a chance to survive to the end.

2.)  Small victories.  Sure, maybe you don't choke someone every round, but learn to define your success in alternate ways.  Many rounds are chalked up as successful when I get to the top once or I don't get submitted.  Life and jiu jitsu are hard, and sometimes the reason we fail is because of our definitions of success.

3.) I am strong.  I am physically and mentally strong.  I can grapple with big, strong, skilled fighters and hold my own, because my body is more powerful than I ever could have dreamed. I was so terrified to start the sport, because of a fear of having my neck touched that I literally had to be tricked into it. Now, that mental barrier, that weakness, has given me a wicked choke defense.  I guess 3a.)your weaknesses can be transformed into strengths if you try hard enough.

I have learned so much, but so little.  I have a long way to go, but for the first time since I started I have finally realized that I am part of the way there.

Slacking

I have been slacking in the blog department, but such is life, right?

Here is the skinny on the past few weeks:

Ben and I took Jarom to the zoo for his sixth birthday celebration, and we had an absolute blast!  The Zoorasic Park exhibit that Utah's Hogle Zoo hosted was a sight to be seen.  The dinosaurs were very realistic, and the little man loved them.  The dinosaurs are gone now, but if you haven't been to the zoo this summer, I recommend going.  Sometimes the animals seem sad, but zoos are generally a wonderful place for knowledge, and the animals tend to be well taken care of (that's my take for those of you that are ambivalent about zoos).  On a lighter note, I braved the reptile house for longer than I felt was necessary, but I suppose that is a step toward personal growth?

Aesop Rock and the Hail Mary Mallon crew performed with Kimya Dawson at the Urban Lounge, and the show rocked my world!!!  Hail Mary Mallon played new music, and Aes and Kimya debuted some of their new material for an album they are working on.  Watch this video to get a taste (warning, you will want to cry): 

Natalie had a bachelorette party where we ate at The Garage in North Salt Lake, and afterward we all had a  "few" drinks at the Marriott downtown.  The burger at The Garage is delish, and their wings are pretty damn good too, for those that are interested.  Her party was every ounce as fabulous as she is.  Words can't express how fun it was to let loose with a group of funny, intelligent women. Alek and Nat tie the knot on Saturday, and I'm eagerly waiting to see how beautiful their celebration will be.  The update that follows their wedding will likely be a verbose one. (Speaking of, check out Nat's gorgeous bridal pictures.)

All-in-all: school is flowing along nicely, the gym is fantastic (I've been choking suckas on a regular basis), Ben and I are fantastic, my friends are behaving in their usual (aka marvelous) fashion, and I couldn't be happier.

I swear, I'll update with some pictures, it's just a matter of time.

Finals

This week I have to finish a twenty-five page paper.  I have procrastinated far too much, and have to write fourteen pages in the next two days!  I also have four final assignments, and two final tests.  This week is going to be hectic, but I'm ready for the break, and the light at the end of the tunnel is keeping me motivated!

Friday and Saturday are going to be great (not just because Saturday is my last final), but because Grand Master Flavio Behring is in town for a seminar at Absolute MMA.  I always learn so much when he is here, and I'm really looking forward to seeing some people be promoted to higher belts.

Also, we're spending Sunday at Hogle Zoo with one of my favorite boys on the planet, Jamrock!  Cam and Tse are letting us take the big guy out for his birthday date.  I am loving the new tradition of taking kids out for solo dates on their birthdays.

What does Jam want to see, you ask?  Snakes!  Sunday should be full of laughs, and it will be a good test for my phobia.  I can't show fear in front of the little one, so maybe I will actually walk into the reptile house and look around?

Purple

Things have been hectic and wonderful for the past little while. Spring semester started, and I'm working on a great advocacy project with the Gender Studies department. We're currently ironing out the details for a community blog writing project that focuses on the subject of girl-on-girl bullying; as soon as more details are available, my blog will be bursting with posts that direct everyone to the site. I'm so excited for the experience-it is the first time I have worked on a project from the very beginning.

The gym has been absolutely fantastic. Our fantastic professor, Rob Handley flies Grand Master Flavio Behring to the U.S. twice a year. While he is here, Master Flavio conducts a seminar, and each year it exceeds my expectations. I literally cannot stress the importance of this event. Master Flavio is the embodiment of Jiu-Jitsu. He is a walking, talking, ass-kicking piece of history, and contemporary genius. He looks like a Brazilian Sean Connery, and has the best wink I have ever seen. If you are interested in self-defense or sport jiu-jitsu, check out his site: http://www.flaviobehring.com/

The seminars are a great learning experience, and they are the time of year when everyone receives their due belt promotions. This year, I am so proud to share that Mister Bentley received his PURPLE BELT!! For those of you that don't know, the belt progression is as follows: white, blue, purple, brown, black. The purple belt is the "halfway" point. If a person works really hard a black belt can be achieved in ten years (give or take, depending on your skill-level, and your Professor, etc.) Ben has worked so hard, and he deserved this promotion (he has been doing jiu-jitsu for 3 1/2 years now.) Ben has won numerous competitions, and puts in so much time on the mat. I am so proud of him, I literally can't put it into words. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures for now, I'm going to ask my lovely coaches for some copies, and post them if they allow me to.
Ben wasn't the only person to receive a promotion, my best friend, Camrann Pacheco was promoted to a BROWN BELT! Such a monumental occasion! Cam is amazing, and he really deserves the new belt.
I have made myself the promise that I won't be a white belt forever, it's time for me to put in work to earn a blue belt!!

Workin' Out

School starts on Monday and I am so excited! I usually start the semester out really strong and fizzle out toward the end, but my goal this semester is to maintain a healthy pace of involvement from beginning to end! One large change this semester will be in my workout routine, I have to cut back on my time at Absolute, but I'm going to be supplementing my workout regimen with weight training on Mondays and Wednesdays with my friend Dave. We have an hour and twenty minute break between classes, so we'll be working out at the Field House. I'm excited to get a new type of workout in; weight training twice a week, and training muay Thai and BJJ three times a week will definitely keep me sane and in shape!

Also, I've been picking up kettlebells twice a week with Rebecca at the gym, and I'm really excited about keeping up on the schedule; sport kettlebells are something that definitely intrigue me, and after about a year or so (or whenever Rob says I'm ready,) I'd love to try to compete.

As far as BJJ goes I recently competed in the Utah Grappling Games on July 31st. It was my first grappling tournament. I participated in the women's middleweight gi division, and took 2nd place. I had two matches, the first which I won with points, and the second that I lost via arm lock. The first time jitters were enough to damn my entire performance, and although I'm proud that I went out to compete, watching the videos made me really negative about my overall performance. I can't wait to go back and try even harder in the next tournament.

In other workout news, I signed up for the Dirty Dash with Megan Allen and Sara Meidell, which will be super exciting! I'm not going to make the same mistake that I did for the SLC Half Marathon, I will be running to train for this one!

We leave tomorrow to see Aesop in Reno! Pictures and tales to come!

Absolute MMA

February of this year was a month that changed my life. I joined a mixed martial arts gym, Absolute MMA. My little brother (Braeden) had watched the fighting movie Never Back Down and started training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu out of a small gym, with a guy that turned out to be a total whacko. When my mom pulled him out of the gym (which was actually a loading dock in an industrial complex,) he began researching for a new place to study; thankfully, he found Absolute. I was tipping the scale at an unmentionable weight at this time, and wanted to give this workout stuff a try, and was waiting for a time when we could start. For a full month before we went I heard about Steven Sharp and Camrann Pacheco, and I was forced to watch countless youtube videos of both of them. It was February that we were able to check the gym out.

When I first walked into the gym, they were doing body-kick drills on Thai pads, and I have never been so intimidated in all of my life! A room full of men, grunting like animals, kicking harder than I had ever seen was not a welcoming sight. Also, the first person that I notice kicking is someone from high school, that I didn't particularly like, and there was also a guy (turns out his name is Phil) that was clearly on some sort of steroids. In that instant, I didn't think I could handle kickboxing, and I was pretty sure Braeden would have to fly solo with a gym membership. Just as I was writing this place off as a hangout for meat heads, Professor Rob Handley introduces himself. Rob is the owner of Absolute MMA, and he is now someone that I can honestly call my mentor and a great friend. I tell him all of the time that if there was a Jesus, I imagine that he made people feel the way that Rob does when you first meet him. He is a very large man, with legs comparable to tree trunks, and a full beard with a bald head, but his smile detracts from how menacing he is. His smile was so comforting, and his voice was so sincere, that when he put his arm around me and told me to come in and try the place out for a week, I knew I had to give it a shot.

So, after meeting Jesus, AKA Rob, we came in on a Saturday morning. I told Braeden that I was sick and couldn't workout that day, but when we arrived and there wasn't a single person other than us there, I grabbed my clothes and completed the workout. My sickness was purely nerves, and when I realized the only person to witness my humiliation was Brae, I was ready to go. I still remember the exact heavy bag that I worked on for the first class, and I distinctly remember tasting vomit in my throat and feeling death in my lungs. Our warm-ups consist of two- five minute rounds of jump roping (generally) and I couldn't make it through a full two minutes without feeling like my calves were going to explode. Death and vomit aside, I had never felt so proud as I did when I finished that intense hour of work. I had fallen in love with the place, and I was going to come back.

For the first two weeks at the gym I was so nervous before every class that I would almost hurl. I was overweight, self-conscious, and completely intimidated. I worked through those first two weeks and I have been going back ever since.

Now, I don't just kickbox, but I also do BJJ, and some intermittent kettlebell work. Since February I have lost thirty-eight pounds, and I've gained a new appreciation for my body and its capabilities. I feel safer when I walk alone at night, and I feel sexier when I'm naked. The physical challenges that are thrust upon you when you are a member of our team are unimaginable to most people. In fact, most people don't stick around after one class, because it is just that hard. While working out at the gym, I have met some of the most amazing people. I have forged relationships at my gym that I believe will last a lifetime. My home away from home is tucked away in West Jordan, Utah, and is filled with some of the most entertaining characters that I've ever met. For instance, Camrann; Cam is an extremely talented fighter. He looks like he is built out of stone, and fights at 145. He's a purple belt in BJJ, and an all-around astonishing athlete. Cam has quickly become one of my best friends in the world. He is an atheist and an avid podcast subscriber. He has introduced me to the formal Skeptic movement, and I love talking with him about subjects that range from Libertarianism to Gay marriage. We have the same taste in music and movies, and I feel as though I can tell him anything. When I complain that my thighs are still touching in the middle, he tells me not to worry, that I look amazing. When I feel like I am going to vomit, he knows how to push me past the acid in my throat, and get me through it. I have never met someone that challenges me the way Cam Bam does. He challenges me physically as my instructor at the gym, and without him, I wouldn't possess what little skill I have. He challenges me mentally; I am constantly forced to point my skeptical eye at topics with Cam, and because of conversations with him, I have spent countless hours online doing research. He challenges me emotionally, his brutal honesty is unparalleled, and there are times when he tells me the last thing that I want to hear, but he's always the first to tell me exactly what I need. Words literally can not express the adoration that I have for this man and all that he does, I am honored to know him, and his beautiful wife and son (they're also expecting a baby girl soon,) are so lucky to have him. He is a long way from a meathead, and I am convinced that we will be friends until the day that one of us dies.

Vanessa is another one of my favorite people at the gym, and I'm consistently amazed with her integrity and capacity for love. VTS (Vanessa the Scientist) could not be more different from me ideologically. Vanessa is a devout member of the LDS church, and is as pure as fresh fallen snow; if there is a heaven, that girl is heading straight through the pipleline to the highest level, Super Mario style. She has been training for two years and has participated in three tournaments, with a total of four different divisions (approximately.) Not surprisingly, she has placed 1st in three, and has samurai swords to prove it. I never would have imagined that someone like her would be one of my best friends, but she is. She loves me in spite of my vulgarity, but I'm pretty sure she appreciates it. We both love to read, cook, play sports, and act silly! We can speak openly about our insecurities as women, and can talk for hours about how hard it is to balance intellect and independence with the desire for companionship. The person that gets to marry this woman is going to be so lucky, because they will have the most beautiful wife on their arm at the party, and aside from looking hot, she can choke the shit out of someone and then analyze their saliva under a microscope! She smashes stereotypes, and I'm thankful to know such a fearless female.

Ben, AKA Bentrey is another one of my favorites at the gym. Ben is a second-degree blue belt in Jits, and similar to Cam, he is a well-rounded athlete/competitor in every other area. I can't recount the amount of 1st place titles he has taken in Jiu Jitsu competitions, just know that he is a ninja. I constantly tell Ben that he is a freak, because he is. I have never witnessed someone with so much passion and talent. If there is something that he would like to achieve, it will be done. I feel completely at ease with him and can listen to his stories for hours on end. His impersonations make me giggle nonstop, and I have placed more trust in him than I ever believed I could with another man. Ben is someone that I could call at any time of the night, and he would be there to help me, no matter what. I'm amazed by his athletic prowess, but it is his character that blows my mind wide open. He is a freak, because his beauty as a person knows no bounds. Also, every time that I see Ben, I want to tear his pants off with my teeth. He is an extremely attractive man, which only adds to my theory that he is a freak.

Pedro is like a superhero. I'm convinced he is made of titanium. Pedro convinced me to get onto the mat, and every time we roll he calls me a bitch, and if he doesn't, I feel dead inside. It really is an odd relationship, but it is one that I value more than most. Positive reinforcement has been completely revolutionized by this man. He is a tough nut to crack, but we connected almost immediately. You always know where you stand with Pedro, and that is a quality that is drastically under-appreciated.

The man, the myth, the legend, Rob Handley, I'm convinced he hung the moon. Rob is the one that makes it all happen, and I will never be able to repay him with enough compliments to let him know just how much he has done. He has given us all support when we need it, and sometimes when we don't deserve it. To know Rob is to adore Rob, and I hope that one day, I can repay him for all that he has done.

I could go on for hours about these people, and those are just a few. I can't forget Denver, Bret, Riley, Ricky, Komi, Miyo, Alfred, or anyone else that trains with us. These people are more than a team, they are a family, and each personality helps to make the dynamic special.

Who knew that kicking people in the head could be a show of love?