Friday, June 10, 2011

Who Do You Love?

So, Ben left for Hawaii.  He will be gone for two weeks, which is cool.  He doodled a cute little countdown calendar on the whiteboard in our kitchen, and it made my heart melt.  Now that he is gone people have been asking me nonstop if I miss him, and everyone seems to be asking, "how are you holding up with him gone?"  I know that people mean well, and I know that he meant well with the calendar, but it all really made me think.

I felt a tad sad thinking about him being gone for two weeks, because I love him.  I like coming home to him, and hearing about his day.  However, I am not exactly devastated that he is gone.  I go to school full-time, work full-time, have tons of friends, and have plenty of training, cooking, reading, and blog writing to do.  I mean, really, it would be a bit pathetic if I was devastated or sad over two weeks of him being gone, right?

The sum of things has made me evaluate some stuff.  I love him, and I love our life together.  I like building our life together.  We do fun stuff, and Ben is my best friend, but I have a lot more self-love now than I have ever had.  Spending time alone isn't bad, in fact, it is kind of nice.  I had a great day in class, and kicked some butt (Chelsea style) in jits last night.  I was feeling great, and it continued when I went home to the empty house.  I made myself a steak sandwich on some delicious fresh ciabatta bread, ate half of the juiciest cantaloupe that I have ever tasted (Harmon's produce department is the best!), watched a movie, read Cosmopolitan from cover to cover (mostly to gauge just how sexist this "female friendly" magazine is), and I splurged on a mini Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

Who do I love?  I love tons of people.  But, of all of the people that I love, I have really turned into my favorite.

2 comments:

collette charles-bodtcher said...

:) so nice to hear this. and splurging on premium ice cream is always a must.

Natalie said...

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes (from the last episode of Sex and the City): “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous.”