So, Ben left for Hawaii. He will be gone for two weeks, which is cool. He doodled a cute little countdown calendar on the whiteboard in our kitchen, and it made my heart melt. Now that he is gone people have been asking me nonstop if I miss him, and everyone seems to be asking, "how are you holding up with him gone?" I know that people mean well, and I know that he meant well with the calendar, but it all really made me think.
I felt a tad sad thinking about him being gone for two weeks, because I love him. I like coming home to him, and hearing about his day. However, I am not exactly devastated that he is gone. I go to school full-time, work full-time, have tons of friends, and have plenty of training, cooking, reading, and blog writing to do. I mean, really, it would be a bit pathetic if I was devastated or sad over two weeks of him being gone, right?
The sum of things has made me evaluate some stuff. I love him, and I love our life together. I like building our life together. We do fun stuff, and Ben is my best friend, but I have a lot more self-love now than I have ever had. Spending time alone isn't bad, in fact, it is kind of nice. I had a great day in class, and kicked some butt (Chelsea style) in jits last night. I was feeling great, and it continued when I went home to the empty house. I made myself a steak sandwich on some delicious fresh ciabatta bread, ate half of the juiciest cantaloupe that I have ever tasted (Harmon's produce department is the best!), watched a movie, read Cosmopolitan from cover to cover (mostly to gauge just how sexist this "female friendly" magazine is), and I splurged on a mini Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
Who do I love? I love tons of people. But, of all of the people that I love, I have really turned into my favorite.